Defying Defiance

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Defying Defiance

1. Educate your children about the difference between real life and life on television. Talk to your kids about what you watch on TV and at the movies.

2. Be selective about what your children see and read.

3. Make your own decisions about what's right and wrong. Don't be misled by advertising and political rhetoric.

Causes of Defiance:

1. Making unenforceable demands. When you demand something of your child that you can't enforce, you open yourself up to defiance. For example, demanding that your child ''go to sleep right now.'' You can't make a person sleep, but you can make him go to bed.

2. Too much talking and too little action When you repeat your request to a child four or five times, your child will quickly figure out that he can easily ignore you and suffer no repercussions.

3. Lack of family rules. Lack of rules forces you to make constant decisions and judgments and prevents your kids from learning the law of the land.

4. Constant nagging. Parents who nag often have kids who are ''parent deaf.'' The only cure is to talk less, and act more.

source: Elizabeth Pantley, Author of "Kid Cooperation"

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