I started feeling a little sick on Monday. It was just a few days ago I was telling a buddy that I "NEVER get sick." So I started to retrace my steps, hoping to figure out how I caught the bug. I wash my hands all the time. I try to be aware of my surroundings in an effort to fend off germs. How could this happen?
Last week, my son came down with the "junk". Like Spongebob's pet snail Gary, he was leaving a slime trail everywhere he went. He was hacking on everything and his nose was running..(a marathon!) But I was careful. I washed my hands every ten seconds. I took a shower every time he looked at me!
I remember Jay was sick last week. Did he use my computer to update his facebook page? His dirty little germ fingers tap tap tapping away on my keyboard. I bet it was Jay.
Then I remembered I went to Target last weekend. I pushed the cart around. It could have been that cart. The handle was a little greasy. I would have been better off pushing a toilet around. I bet it was that cart. So many hands on that handle.
But I do spend a lot of time in the gym. There is always some random guy in the corner, hacking his lungs out. He's there dripping like a faucet, lifting weights. Using every machine...feeling the burn in his biceps and his congested nasal canal. His hands soaked with sweat and grime. It could have been that guy in the gym. I bet it was gym dude.
I always get a can of pop from the soda machine at work. Come to think of it, there are a few Sicky McSicksters roaming the halls upstairs at KAKE. I'm sure that every sick account executive gets diet Pepsi. That's what I get. Those germ infested finger tips, reaching out and smudging bacteria on the diet Pepsi button. A trap for the next sucker who wants to simply enjoy a crisp, cold beverage. I should start drinking Tab. Nobody drinks Tab.
There are so many suspects. It's like Clue. It was Jay.. in the break room ..with a sneeze on the coffee pot. Case closed.